Tag Archives: Strength

On Loving Ourselves


What do you really want? Do you want what makes someone else happy with you? That is, nine times out of ten, not what we really want. We buy into so much garbage that the first question gets buried by the second, especially in our illness.  We are taught so early in life that to like ourselves is just plain wrong.  This is what so-called “normal” people experience. Our illness pounces on this idea of self-love is wrong and takes it to the level of pure self-loathing and encourages self-harm. until all we feel is pain.
Eckhart Tolle calls this “the pain body.” I call this “my personal hell on earth.” Having lived in this hell and having found a way out, I never want to go back.
You can find many explanations as to why this may be so, but for me not liking myself and taking all my beliefs from external sources was the cause of all this pain.
The Christian writer, Oswald Chambers wrote, “We are not born with character or with habits both these things need to be developed.”
If my character and my habits do not align with my true nature can there be anything but pain?  Not likely.
The fact is there is no one to ask but ourselves what that true nature may be. This also is a great stumbling block. We are so used to being told all the answers are external that when we come to understand the real answer is within ourselves we have trouble believing it. Even if we do believe it we have no training in how to go about finding the answer.

Finding your true nature, your essential being, is different than finding a purpose, or goals, or anything else. It is digging and finding the bedrock of your being and exposing that to the world. It is not your personality, personalities can change. It is the spirit that came with you when you entered this body and this life. To find this spirit with us requires diligence and a lot of trial and error. However, this is the bedrock on which true character and good habits can be developed.

Mental wellness, of which I speak a lot, is our requirement to start this process of finding our true nature. Our illness buries our essential being deep within us and fights us every time we get close to discovering our true selves. A true deceiver, our illness hides the truth and lies to us every chance it gets. But there is only one place to find your true self and that is within you and you are the only one who can.

Our battle is with our minds, not with other people, places, situations or other external things.  Remember our battle will always be with our minds and our minds alone.

The great inspirational speaker, Jim Rohn, said:” Work harder on yourself than anything else.”

I say,” Work harder on yourself and everything else falls into place like magic.”

Keep to the path, the hard one. The easy one does not go anywhere.


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Many other people blog on bipolar and related subjects. Mental wellness is all about knowledge and learning about ourselves. The more informed we are the easier our struggles may be. Each week I attach a blog written by someone else that I found interesting that may inform you as well.  This is another author’s work I am just attaching their blog for you.  I hope you enjoy this week’s Blog created by Shannon Cutts

How to Make Friends With the Unknown





“To be rooted is perhaps the most important and least recognized need of the human soul.” Simone Weil

I was one compared to a sand dune. Consistency was not a word I knew or understood. I blamed many people, places and things for what was going on in my life. It was only when I looked closely at myself, my thoughts, beliefs, feelings (or lack thereof), actions and reactions could I begin to see that I was the major contributor to my problems.

A person I met recently said they were always told to “Get a Backbone.” I had heard that statement as well in my family. That is a very old saying that means develop Strength of Character but does not say that in a language I understand. Or may be like consistency, strength of character was also a statement without meaning to me.

The walk towards mental wellness has been a steep learning curve. A movement from total ignorance to knowledge usually is. I wanted to live, to be happy and yet all I thought about was killing myself. These thoughts, I have learned, are not conductive to living happily on any level.

Stephen R. Covey describes character as set of principles. Strength of character is relying on those principals when in trouble. This is what is outwardly viewed as strength just as lifting a car is viewed as physical strength. It is only when facing situations we find difficult for ourselves is there a need for these principals. As only in a storm is seamanship required as well. Anyone can sail on a calm ocean.

That is how I came to be compared with a sand dune, that utter lack of character that showed in difficult situations. No one knew how I would react. In time no one cared how I reacted because they all stayed far away from me.

The quote by Simon Weil at the beginning of this message is so true. When I developed and became rooted to the principals of Character I was able to become consistent in all my dealings with myself and others. Sadly, I have to admit this. I even lacked the character to deal with myself in a consistent fashion.

Keep to the path, the hard one. The easy one does not go anywhere

Today’s Site: Bipolar Advantage